Characters and Scenes: Cock. This. Bull. It.

A Play by Dan Calhoun

NEW RELEASE: $13.95 | Available for purchase on AMAZON.

About Cock. This. Bull. It.

Usually Peter wakes every morning pump-full of erotic energy, but one morning he wakes and finds something has gone awry. When he reaches between his thighs, he feels only a smooth patch. His wife, Felicia, has done everything she can to help him, but he’s over medical tests and prefers good, old-fashioned denial. Felicia’s had enough. She misses the old Peter. In order to save their marriage, she drags Peter to couples therapy where the two will confront his missing member under the guidance of an invasive doctor with an indecipherable European accent. What ensues in this comedy of manners is an exploration of masculinity, marriage and how one defines oneself after one’s identity completely alters.

The Characters

  • FELICIA: A woman in her 30’s. SHE dresses in stylish, preppy clothes like a typical WASP. 
  • PETER: A man in his 30’s. HE dresses in stylish, preppy clothes. 
  • DOCTOR STANOLOPILOUS: The DOCTOR can be played by a man or woman but should act/dress androgynous. The DOCTOR is very old and speaks in a thick accent of the actor’s choosing.

The Scenes

INTRODUCTION SCENE

A psychiatrist’s office. There is an old, ornate couch and a leather chair where the psychiatrist sits. There are bookshelves, jammed with texts and folders, around the furniture. There is a thick layer of dust on the bookshelves. There is a window behind the couch but a yellow curtain blocks out the sun.

SCENE 1

The balcony of a large house. Inside the house, a heavily attended office party  takes place. Christmas lights are all over the balcony and poinsettias in vases are  displayed on the balcony railing. 

SCENE 2

The DOCTOR’S office. There are bookshelves everywhere. There’s a leather chair and a leather couch. Curtains cover the windows. The office is small. In this scene, PETER wears a coat and turtleneck sweater.

SCENE 3

FELICIA and PETER’S bedroom. There’s a  large bed in the center, dressers and  lamps. DOCTOR STANOLOPILOUS enters this  scene in a white robe then reveals a black  leather, dom/dominatrix style outfit.

Now available for purchase!

Author: Dan Calhoun, author of Safe Sex
Paperback ISBN: 978-0-9976943-9-0
Pages: 110
Retail: $13.95 | Available for purchase on AMAZON
HUMOR / General. | PERFORMING ARTS / General. | PERFORMING ARTS / Theater / General. | PERFORMING ARTS / Theater / Playwriting. | PERFORMING ARTS / Comedy. | PERFORMING ARTS / Monologues & Scenes.
Wholesale purchase options will be available for booksellers and non-booksellers.

About Dan Calhoun

Dan Calhoun grew up in Florida, transplanted to Kansas (where he earned his MFA from Wichita State), and is now living it up in Louisiana. He’s currently a PhD candidate at the University of Louisiana-Lafayette, where he also teaches English, Creative Writing and Film. He’s also working with AWP in the Writer to Writer mentorship program.

Also by Dan Calhoun, Safe Sex.